Ed Sheeran talks about suicidal thoughts after the death of his best friend Jamal Edwards
Ed Sheeran has started having suicidal thoughts after the death of his best friend Jamal Edwards.
Jamal, a music producer and the son of Loose Women star Brenda Edwards, tragically died after suffering cardiac arrest caused by cocaine and alcohol in February 2022 at the age of 31.
Ed, 32, detailed feeling as if he had ‘drowned’ when another close friend, Australian cricketer Shane Warne, died the following month.
In a raucous interview with Rolling Stone, he explained that he was embarrassed by his suicidal thoughts because they seemed “selfish.”
He talked about his depression and said, ‘My best friend passed away. And he shouldn’t have.
“I’ve always had low points in my life. But it wasn’t until last year that I really tackled it.
Candid: Ed Sheeran is candid about suicidal thoughts after the death of his best friend Jamal Edwards
Tragic: Jamal, a music producer and the son of Loose Women star Brenda Edwards, tragically died after suffering cardiac arrest caused by cocaine and alcohol in February 2022 at the age of 31
Trigger: Ed, 32, detailed feeling like he was ‘drowning’, when another close friend, Australian cricketer Shane Warne, died the following month
“I felt like I didn’t want to live anymore. And I’ve had that all my life… You’re drowning under the waves. You’re just kind of into this thing. And you can’t escape it.’
He added that the depression “seemed selfish, especially as a father. I’m really ashamed of it.’
With the help of his wife Cherry Seaborn who told him to get help, Ed went to see a therapist.
He explained, “Nobody really talks about their feelings where I’m from,” he says. “People think it’s weird to get a therapist in England… I think it’s really helpful to be able to talk to someone and just vent and not feel guilty about venting.”
He continued, “The help isn’t a button that you press, where you’re automatically OK. It’s something that will always be there and just needs to be managed.’
Elsewhere in the candid chat, Ed talked about his drinking and drug use and how he eventually quit both.
He explained, “I was always a drinker. I didn’t touch any kind of drugs until I was 24.
He admitted to using “some” substances, but refused to name them for fear that his children would ever read it.
Ed said, “I remember just being at a festival and thinking, ‘Well, if all my friends are doing it, it can’t be that bad.’
And then kind of slog. And then it just becomes a habit that you do once a week and then once a day and then, like, twice a day and then, like, no booze. It just got bad vibes.”
Speaking about how he quit liquor, he explained that once again it was wife Cherry who brought things into focus.
He recalled, “Two months before Lyra was born, Cherry said, ‘If my water breaks, do you really want someone else to take me to the hospital?’
‘Cause I just drank a lot. And then it clicked. I was like, “No, not really.” And I never want to get pecked holding my kid. Ever ever.
‘Having a few beers is one thing. But having a bottle of vodka is another thing. It’s just a realization of, “I’m turning 30. Grow up! You’ve partied, you’ve had this experience. Be happy with that and be done.”
‘I like red wine and I like beer. I don’t know any old rockers who aren’t alcoholics or sober, and I didn’t want to be.’
Jamal’s death from a combination of cocaine and booze has intensified Ed’s feelings about drugs.
He insisted, “I would never touch anything again, because that’s how Jamal died. And that’s just disrespectful to his memory to even come close.”
The star paid tribute to Jamal earlier this year with a moving freestyle that he filmed at Stamford Bridge, the home of Chelsea FC, of whom Jamal was a fan.
Paying tribute to his friend during an interview with BBC News, Ed said he believes he wouldn’t be the star he is today without Jamal’s support.
“I really don’t think I would have had the opportunities I have if Jamal hadn’t put his arm around me,” he said.
Embarrassed: In a raucous interview with Rolling Stone, he explained that he was embarrassed by his suicidal thoughts because they seemed “selfish”
Getting Help: With the help of his wife Cherry Seaborn who told him to get help, Ed went to see a therapist
Supportive: Speaking about how he quit booze, he explained that once again it was wife Cherry who brought things into focus
He added that he had been performing in the acoustic scene for several years before Jamal discovered him and asked him to perform on his YouTube channel.
In May 2022, Ed also revealed that he welcomed his second child with his wife Cherry Seaborn, daughter Jupiter.
Announcing the news on Instagram, Ed wrote: “Just want to let you all know that we just got another beautiful baby girl. We are both so in love with her, and overjoyed to be a family of 4.”
Ed and Cherry are already proud parents to daughter Lyra, two, after they tied the knot in 2019.
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