Am I wrong to tell my nine year old daughter that she is pretty every day? A friend says that I should focus on personality and talent.
- Julie Cook from Hampshire showers her daughter Adriana with compliments
- But a friend told him that calling his daughter “pretty” was too “appearance-focused.”
- Julie doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong, do you?
- Visit Metro.es to read the full version of this article
- Read more from Metro: I put up my Christmas decorations on November 6
Julie Cook has always congratulated her children.
Although her son, now 13, is embarrassed when his mother tells him he’s handsome, Julie’s daughter Adriana is still showered with compliments.
“I tell my nine-year-old daughter that she is pretty, charming, has the brightest eyes and warmest smile at least a dozen times a day,” says the Hampshire journalist. Metro.es.
Although Julie had always thought this was completely normal “mommy” behavior, one of her friends told her that she should reconsider her comments.
“He said it was archaic to tell girls they’re pretty these days, and instead of calling attention to their image, I should comment on their talent and personality,” Julie explains.
Julie Cook from Hampshire always tells her daughter, Adriana, 9, that she is pretty and never gave it a second thought until a friend criticized her.
‘For a few days it made me wonder: was I doing the wrong thing? Was she making him prioritize the looks of her and not the other features that made her… her?’
The mother of two now strongly believes that she is doing the right thing in complimenting her daughter’s appearance.
“I think building up your daughter and telling her that she’s lovely is an important part of making sure she has self-esteem. Imagine never receiving a compliment on her appearance in her entire childhood, surely that would be more damaging.
“In a world based on looks, telling your child that they are just as beautiful as anyone else is vitally important.”
Julie said she thinks it’s important to build her daughter’s self-confidence in today’s appearance-focused world.
Julie said she taught her daughter that airbrushed models in magazines aren’t true role models.
Julie remembers an incident a couple of weeks ago when Adriana saw a airbrushed woman on the Internet and began to compare herself to this person. In response, her mother told her daughter that no one looked like that.
Then I launched into my daily confidence boost of how beautiful her hair is, how fair her skin is, how wonderful she looks in her new fluffy coat, how perfect the way she is.
‘She smiled and forgot about Miss Airbrush, feeling good again.’
While Julie sees merit in praising qualities other than looks, she also makes sure to comment specifically on Adriana’s appearance because she’s concerned about her little girl’s well-being if she doesn’t.
Julie adds: ‘Like all mums, I think my daughter is pretty. All girls are! Her sweet smiles, her endearing faces, the blush on her cheeks.
‘Yes my girl is pretty but to be honest I would call my daughter pretty even if she looked like a marrow. Because, to me, she would always be.
Visit Metro.es to read the full version of this article